


The Point Of No Return

by strawberry_foxglove



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Civil War Team Iron Man, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Iron Dad, Not Beta Read, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Spoilers, Tags May Change, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, not team Cap friendly, not wanda maximoff friendly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-19 08:30:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20206765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberry_foxglove/pseuds/strawberry_foxglove
Summary: Lying in the snow in a Siberian bunker and not knowing if he will make it out alive, Tony reflects on what got him to this very moment.Don’t waste your liferuns through his mind and he promises himself that should he survive this, things will be different.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first work I have ever published in any form. Let’s see how that goes.  
I am not a native speaker and as the tags tell you this is not beta-read.  
I am open and thankful to anyone who makes me aware of any spelling or grammar mistakes.  
If someone is interested in beta-reading this fanfiction as it moves forward, please contact me.  
I am aware that this is heavily in favor of Team Iron Man, I mean REALLY heavily, so any Cap fans should be forewarned.  
This will move along the lines of the following movies in the MCU, so there will be Spoilers. Be warned!  
I am of course open to notes and criticism, as long as it is constructive and respectful.  
I will add tags as I move along, if you think any tag should be added, just let me know.  
Enjoy!  
  
UPDATE: I added a small section near the end about Tony finding out about what happened to his parents.

Blinking slowly Tony tried to remember how long it had been since Cap had left with Barnes, but time was hard to measure. The only thing telling him that time was passing was the cold slowly creeping in. Hurting at first and then numbing everything.

Opening his eyes shouldn’t be this hard, Tony knew. His limbs should not feel as disconnected from his body. His heartbeat should not be pounding as loudly in his ears, nor should it beat so slowly. His face should not feel this stiff and his eyesight should not be this blurry.  
Everything was white around him and the falling snow made it even more difficult to make out his surroundings.

In the beginning he had tried to initiate the release protocol, but with the power source gone, FRIDAY wasn’t responding. After that he had tried to reach for the hatches at his side to remove the suit manually. However as soon as Tony had tried to move any part of his upper torso, his chest had protested vehemently.  
For Tony it had felt as if the breath had been punched right out of him once more. His vision had whited out for a moment and he could practically feel something inside of him tearing apart. Following that, Tony had tried to limit his movement as much as possible. Which wasn’t all that difficult to do, considering what the suit weighed.

Sitting there, not really being able to move, Tony tried to figure out how he’d gotten there.  
After Afghanistan, he had tried his hardest to not waste his life. He’d stopped the weapons manufacturing division of his company and he’d even rounded up all the illegally sold weapons that were still out there, on account of Obadiah.  
Tony had remade himself. He had started using his resources to help and protect this world and even when he was dying he had done his damnedest to make sure Pepper would continue to do so.  
He had opened his heart. Even though he had been hurt and betrayed time and time again he had started to let people in. Opened his home to the team that had been formed during the Chitauri attack.  
Tony had thought that they’d had a good thing going for them. Sure, sometimes he felt like they took all the resources he made available for them for granted and that most of the time only his mistakes were points of discussion instead of his achievements. However he also, for the first time that he could remember, had a team that had his back and trusted him.

Sure, he had Pepper and Rhodey, but that was different. Pepper had been his employee and then the CEO of his company. Then, when they got together, Iron Man had always been a point of contention. Even now, Tony couldn’t remember the last time he had actually seen his girlfriend. After the whole Ultron debacle she had said that she needed some distance, looking haggard, and had set off to look into the S.I. offices around the world. She had gotten back a couple months ago but had kept her distance while he had worked with the R&D department and the new scholarship program of S.I. _Why did we stop fighting for us? When did we grow this far apart that I don’t even know where she is right now?_

Tony exhaled and noticed that his breath was not as visible in the cold air as it had been in the beginning. That wasn’t good. His core temperature was sinking.  
He tried to move at least his fingers and toes. Tried to wriggle his nose, as that one was going to be the first to go in these temperatures. Along with his ears, but he had never been able to wriggle his ears. Jarvis could, Tony remembered. Rhodey could too.  
His Platypus who had been by his side since the beginning. His best friend had always been there for him, as much as he was able to at least. At MIT he could only do so much for Tony, what with Howard’s money and influence paving the way for the man to a life without consequences for his actions. After signing up with the Air Force Rhodey wasn’t as available as before and had more commitments, which was fine. Tony was fine. Thinking back, that was the time that Pepper came into his life.  
However Rhodey fought for them. He visited Tony when he was on leave and dragged him along to family celebrations. And when the people wanted something from Tony that he wasn’t willing to give, Rhodey helped as much as he could. And where had that gotten him? Paralysed from the waist down and in a coma.

The Avengers team had seemed like they could be a family. And than a family feud had broken out, to put it mildly.  
Sitting there, Tony had actually started to feel more numb than angry, but all these thoughts started to ignite his rage once more. He had tried so hard. Had tried to do what was right, what was needed and given more than 100%. He had run himself ragged.  
A harsh breath left him as he considered the aftermath of the attack on New York. That when nobody had believed him about what he knew was coming for them, what he had seen in that wormhole with his own eyes, he had started the preparations himself.  
Ultron was supposed to protect them and he knew that had gone pear shaped, but how could he have seen that coming? With a witch messing with his mind and an alien artefact messing with his tech, how was Ultron his fault? Nobody saw it that way of course. They only saw where Ultron originated from, not what turned him into what he ended up being.

When he had stepped back from the Avengers, seeing the distrust in their eyes, he had still given as much as he could. He gave his financial aid, designed their gear and handled everything from PR to politics. And when the Accords happened, all he had asked of them was to trust that he knew how to handle politicians. He was good at that, hadn’t he proven that when people were clamouring to get their hands on his Iron Man suit? No, the legislation wasn’t ideal, but given time Tony could not only make it work, but actually turn the Accords into something that could do good.  
He hadn’t expected everything to turn out as it did. He had let himself be blinded and acted on his emotions instead of looking at it from every angle as he would usually do.

Closing his eyes Tony considered that if he had taken the time to explain to her that the people were afraid, maybe Wanda would have agreed to stay inside the Compound. Maybe she wouldn’t have felt the need to run and attack Vision.  
He considered that if he had made more of an effort to get Steve used to this time, the future for him, maybe the Accords wouldn’t have seemed as daunting and constricting. Maybe Cap would have trusted the system to help Barnes. Maybe. If.

Tony was sick of those thoughts. Yes, he had made mistakes and of course he could have made better decisions. However in the grand scheme of things he was actually quite content with most of the decisions others would vilify him for.  
He could have explained things better to Wanda, but she was her own person and could and should have stayed informed and asked questions about her own situation if she was unsure about something.  
He could have made more of an effort with getting Steve acclimated to this time, but again, he was a grown man and just like they expected foreigners to make a conscious effort, Steve could be expected to show some initiative to get up to date.

Reflecting on everything, there were only a handful of things Tony actually felt regret over. Surprisingly, Yinsen’s words made him realise what he would change.  
He wished that he had taken a more active role in leading S.I. after his parents had passed away. Maybe that way he would have been able to prevent the damage Obadiah had ended up causing.  
He wished that he could go back and tell Pepper and Rhodey about dying from palladium poisoning. Going through that alone had done nobody any favours. Not him and not his two best friends.  
He should never have given out his address to a terrorist, that had just been plain stupid. Tony scoffed as he remembered his actions back then. And he called himself a genius!  
He wished that he had kept in closer contact with Harley after the whole ordeal with Aldrich Killian. He really should have gotten psychological help after the Chitauri attack. With the power he was able to wield, be it through his role with S.I. or as Iron Man, not getting the help he needed was just plain irresponsible. Maybe he would have been in a better mental state and not as panicked. Maybe Wanda and the mind stone wouldn’t have had the necessary foundation to create Ultron.  
He wished that he’d been there to prevent Wanda from attacking Vision and in that context he wished he hadn’t been so hesitant in getting closer to the android because of his similarities to JARVIS.  
He wished he hadn’t taken Peter with him to Germany. The kid should have never been involved in that fight.

Laying it all out like that, Tony realised that everything he actually did regret, what had most likely brought him to this very moment, came back to him being impulsive and reckless, emotionally scarred and scared and probably having a bad case of PTSD. Tony, in a rare moment of self-reflection also acknowledged that his fear of being alone had made him complacent and hesitant on calling people he cared about out on their treatment of him.

A dry chuckle left Tony’s lips which then turned into a cough. Anxiety started crawling up his throat when he felt something trickle down his chin. He didn’t know what the extent of his injuries was, but he knew that even if they weren’t fatal, the cold very well could be. He hoped FRIDAY had been able to send out a S.O.S. before the reactor was destroyed, otherwise he didn’t see a way out of this situation for him.  


At that thought Tony’s eyes started to sting and this time not because of the cold. Images came crawling into his mind, images of a dark street in the middle of the night. A metal hand wrapped around a slender throat.  
Remembering the video from earlier, Tony’s breath started to accelerate. He tried to remove the memory from his mind but all it brought up was Steve’s face.

_Did you know? Yes._  
Tony bit his lip and curled his hands into fists.  
_I can do this all day._  
Slightly shaking his head Tony took a deep breath.  
_He’s my friend. So was I._

Tears cascaded down his cheeks and Tony couldn’t remember the last time he had actually cried without trying to muffle himself.   
_Stark men are made of iron. _Tony let out a sob that shook his whole form, immediately followed by a whine when that caused the pain in his chest and his limbs to flare up.  
_Well, screw you Howard! _Maybe he would end up dying here, but he’d be damned if he died wearing a mask his father had forced on him when he was a small child.

He had tried to make up for his mistakes and protect those he loved. However by doing that he had somehow ended up trying to fix every problem he happened upon, without any thought to himself.  
And now here he was. Beaten and broken down and _betrayed. Again._  
_Don’t waste your life._ If Tony did end up dying in that bunker, he wasn’t sure if he had wasted his life or not. However he swore to himself that should he survive, he would fix this. He would contact Harley and make sure Peter was alright. He would try to fix his relationship with Pepper and be more involved with S.I.. He would make sure that Rhodey somehow got back on his feet again and would not loose his career. He would fix the Accords and the Avengers Initiative and get rid of Ross.  
But above all else he would seek help, because he was done being miserable. Tony blinked rapidly, ignoring how his eyes wanted to stick together due to the nearly frozen tears on his lashes. He forced his eyes to focus on the shield with the star on it and the metal arm lying in the distance.

No.  
He would not die here.  
This would not be his legacy.  
He was just getting started.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter, meet Harley. Harley, this is Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Into the second round.  
I am not sure if I am happy with how this turned out, but I've read it so many times by now that I'll go crazy if I don't post it now.  
I probably won't be able to keep up the quick updates, but let's enjoy it while it lasts.  
I am still not a native speaker and this fanfiction is still not beta-read. If anybody is interested please contact me.  
I am as always open and thankful to anyone who finds any spelling or grammar mistakes.  
I am still open to constructive and respectful notes and criticism.  
Enjoy and let me know what you think, I live for comments!

Leaning against the hospital wall, Peter stared down at the paper cup in his hand. The black sludge they tried to sell as coffee didn’t look appetizing at all. _Disgusting_. Peter wrinkled his nose. He didn’t even like coffee. He’d only gotten one because—well, because Mr. Stark liked coffee. Sighing, Peter moved back down the hallway.  
Cradling the coffee cup in both of his hands, he thought about everything that had happened. Even though he’d been hesitant about going to Germany when Mr. Stark had invited him, he had never believed it would turn out like this. The Avengers had been a team. Or so Peter had thought. But then the fighting had started, and it hadn’t taken long before it had become apparent that nobody was pulling their punches.  
Peter couldn’t imagine working with someone, trusting them to have your back, only for you to end up on opposing sides of the battlefield.

Taking a sip, Peter scrunched his nose and forced himself to swallow. _Wow, that is even worse than I thought._ Glaring down at the cup, he moved over to the huge window in the wall and looked inside.  
It was disconcerting to see Mr. Stark lying so still and being surrounded by and attached to all these machines.  
Peter didn’t like seeing the man all by himself in that cold, white room. He went to open the door, only to be interrupted by the sound of footsteps to his right.  
Looking up, Peter came face to face with a boy probably around the same age as him, only slightly taller. He had light brown, curly hair and when their gazes locked, Peter noticed that his eyes were wide and his face pinched.  
The boy stopped immediately in his tracks and shoved his hands into the pocket of his sweater.  
“Who are you?” His voice held a slight tremor and when the boy’s eyes landed on Tony, he seemed to have forgotten Peter completely. Taking two quick steps forward a hand landed on the glass as the wide, brown eyes tried to take everything in.  
“Uhm, I’m Peter. Peter Parker.” Peter’s eyes flickered between Mr. Stark’s prone form and the other teen. He scratched his neck in discomfort at the whole situation. “And you?” Peter watched as the boy took a deep breath and turned towards Peter, sticking out his right hand. “I’m Harley Keener. Can we go in?” The teen’s eyes didn’t stay on Peter’s form for very long, moving back to the hospital room.  
Grabbing the offered hand, Peter let go quite quickly and nodded. “Sure. I was just about to go back in actually.” 

Peter shuffled on the same spot for a second before turning around and entering Mr. Stark’s room. He went over to the window side of the room and sat down in the chair he had vacated earlier. From the corner of his eye he watched the other boy, Harley apparently, as he went to Mr. Stark’s other side and just — stared. His eyes seemed to roam over Tony Stark’s form, taking in all the bruises, bandaged wounds and machines he was hooked up to.  
“He’s not supposed to be this still.” Peter’s eyes stung at Harley’s words and he looked down at his hands. “Yeah.” he croaked, and he could practically feel Harley glancing at him.  
“Did you see it?” Peter’s eyes flew up at the harsh quality of Harley’s words and an angry flush lit up Peter’s cheeks as well. He knew exactly what the other teen was talking about.

_Happy had just gotten him back to his apartment in Queens and May was still at work. Peter was trying to work through everything that had happened. His thoughts were doing somersaults as he was struggling to make sense of it all, when his phone started going crazy. First one, then two, then three messages, before the screen lit up with an incoming call. It was Ned.  
“Dude, turn on the TV! It’s crazy!” Peter furrowed his brow as he went over to the couch and grabbed the remote. “Which channel? What’s going on?” He turned the TV on, and Ned’s voice seemed to fade into the background as it said “Doesn’t matter, it’s on every channel.” Peter couldn’t tear his eyes away from the screen._

_There was Iron Man being tag-teamed by non-other than Captain America and the Winter Soldier. Shaking his head in denial, Peter slumped down onto the coach as the Winter Soldier ripped out the arc reactor and lost his metal arm for it. He watched as Captain America grabbed his shield and slammed it into Iron Man’s chest. And he watched as Cap slung an arm around his friend and left without looking back. _

_He only noticed the tears running down his cheeks and his stuttered breathing when Ned’s voice got through to him. “Hey Peter, you alright?” Peter shook his head. “What happened? Why—? I mean, yeah they fought each other in Germany, but how did it turn into—this?” His voice was nothing more than a whisper.  
The picture on the TV switched to a woman explaining that their channel had been hijacked by a man named Baron Zemo. “There was a video before this happened. Apparently all three of them watched it.” Ned said as the news channel showed a different image again, proclaiming to show the whole footage that Baron Zemo had streamed all over the country. _

_Growing up, Peter had been the biggest Tony Stark and Iron Man fanboy that had ever existed. He’d known everything there was to know, so when the date 12/16/1991 appeared in the corner of the video, Peter had enough context to know what event he was about to witness. _  
Admittedly, watching Howard and Maria Stark get murdered by the Winter Soldier was news to him as well. It was horrifying to see the confusion in his heroes’ eyes turn into pain. And his blood seemed to all but boil in rage when Captain America confessed to have known about it all along.  
Peter wished he’d never gotten to see the betrayal in his mentor’s eyes as he lashed out at the man, someone he had considered a close friend. 

Peter looked at Harley and gave a curt nod. “Yeah, I saw it. Couldn’t believe it at first.” Harley chuckled, but there was no humor in it. “I’m still working on believing myself.” The boy grabbed a chair for himself and sat down on the other side of the bed. He raked his fingers through his hair, then leaned forward and covered his face with his hands.  
“I was at home in my lab. I just like having the TV on for background noise and out of nowhere the picture turns greyscale and then—Bam! Suddenly there is the Mechanic fighting his own teammates.”  
Harley let his hands fall down and leaned back. His eyes had a glassy sheen to them as they trailed back to the man lying unconscious in the hospital bed.  
“Of course I knew that something was going on with them, but—.” He seemed lost for words. Peter wrapped his arms around his midsection and croaked a near silent “Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a while, until Peter’s inherent restlessness made itself known and he looked for something to say. Going back over Harley’s words he found a topic that seemed save. “Why do you call him the Mechanic?”  
Harley had seemed to be focused on his own two hands and looked up at Peter’s words. A small smile stole itself onto his lips.  
“You remember that business with the Mandarin a while back?” Peter’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, not having expected the conversation to turn into that direction. Waiting for Peter to nod, Harley continued.  
“When everybody thought he was dead he broke into my garage.” He gave a little laugh. “Well, technically my Mom’s garage, but really it’s always been mine.” He kicked his feet up and laid them on a corner of the hospital bed, not seeming to care about the fact that a Mr. Stark was lying in it. That move was such a Tony Stark thing to do, that Peter’s eyes started to burn again. Harley continued, oblivious to Peter’s thoughts.  
“The suit was kind of a mess and he needed material and a place to fix it. He was different than what you see on TV, you know?” Peter nodded even before Harley looked at him for confirmation. “He just said that he was the Mechanic and it kinda stuck.”  
Harley interlaced his fingers behind his head and looked up at the ceiling. “He gave my lab an upgrade afterwards and from time to time he sends a message.” Harley laughed again. “Of course it’s always in morse code, because he’s an asshole but what do you expect.” He shrugged his shoulders and grinned.  
Peter had to laugh as well. He could actually see Mr. Stark doing that on purpose, simply because he knew it was going to annoy Harley.

“How did you meet him?” Peter looked up in surprise, not having expected to be asked that question. He should have. It wasn’t normal to know Tony Stark so well that you were just allowed inside of his hospital room. He opened his mouth to tell Harley about Tony Stark appearing in the living room of his apartment in Queens. He was prepared to give the agreed upon story of Peter being Mr. Stark’s intern, but what actually came tumbling out of his mouth was something completely different.  
“I am Spider-Man.” At his own words, Peter felt his eyes grow wide in shock, just as Harley’s turned to the size of saucers. The teen let his feet fall down from the bed in surprise. “What?!”  
Peter covered his mouth with both of his hands, muffling his words. “I wasn’t supposed to say that!”  
Harley stared at him for a few seconds, before doubling over and bursting into peals of laughter. Peter sat frozen as Harley continued laughing until tears started to run down his face.  
At some point Peter groaned and hid his whole head under his arms. “I’ve been so good at keeping my cover! Only Mr. Stark has ever found out and I just—just tell you!”  
Harley wiped his eyes, still grinning in glee. “I never would have expected Spider-Man to be this scrawny.” An honest to god squawk left Peter's mouth and in his indignation, Peter came out from under his arms to glare at Harley in outrage. “I am not scrawny!”  
Harley leaned back while he smirked smugly at Peter. “Well, you’re still shorter than me.”  
At that a pout stole itself onto Peter’s lips. Crossing his arms to emphasize his feelings, Peter resolutely looked away from the other boy.

“So, that is how you met him? He figured out who you are and turned up at you’re place?” Harley asked after a moment of leaving Peter to his pouting. Peter uncrossed his arms as he considered Harley, before shaking his head.  
“No, well yes, that did happen. But I met him before that.” Harley raised an eyebrow in question.  
“He saved my life when I was 10.” Peter started, smiling fondly as he remembered that day. “I was at the Stark Expo in 2011 when the Hammer drones attacked. I was wearing this Iron Man replica helmet that I’d made myself. Apparently it was pretty authentic, because this drone zeroed right in on me.” Peter shook his head remembering how he had raised his hand, as if he’d actually stood a chance against even one of those drones.  
“I remember looking at this huge drone aiming for me, when it suddenly gets blown away by this repulsor blast. Iron Man walks out from behind me saying ‘Nice work, kid!’ before flying off.”  
The left corner of Harley’s mouth ticked up as he shook his head and looked over at the man in question. “He’s one of a kind, isn’t he?” Peter grinned in agreement. They smiled at each other for a moment, reminiscing about this man and how he had entered their lives.

After a while of sitting in companionable silence, Harley piped up again. “How come we’re allowed to be here anyway? Don’t get me wrong, I’d drive people crazy to get in here, but I just got a call from this British sounding dude saying that a jet was heading my way and to be ready.”  
Harley looked at Peter in question, who gave a shrug. “I don’t have the full story either. I am just glad that I can be here. I think I’d be climbing up the walls if I had to wait at home for any news on how he was doing. Ms. Potts didn’t seem very happy when Vision told him that Mr. Stark wanted us here.”  
Harley scowled at that. “What’s her problem?” Peter gave a one-shouldered shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe because she doesn’t know us? I mean, Mr. Stark is her boyfriend. Maybe she feels uncomfortable leaving him with people she doesn’t know.”  
Harley scoffed at Peter’s words. “Well, if she is so worried where is she?” Peter gave a small smile at Harley’s petulant tone. “She left earlier for Mr. Rhodes. War Machine.” He explained at Harley’s uncomprehending gaze. “Apparently he woke up this morning.”  
Harley looked away at that. “Well, good. That’s good. I still think that she has no right trying to keep us out.”  
Peter chuckled. “I guess. I don’t know why Mr. Stark wanted us in particular to be here. I just know that when they found him—“ Peter sucked in a sharp breath as he tried to shove images of Mr. Stark, lying by himself in that snow covered land out of his head. He blinked a couple of times and was grateful that Harley didn’t comment.  
“I just know that when they found Mr. Stark, he regained consciousness for a moment and all he managed to say was that he wanted them to get us. So here we are.”  
Harley furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the prone form of the man. He kicked up his feet onto the bed once more, mirroring his earlier position.  
Grinning shyly, Peter copied the action and leaned back into his chair.

They sat there for a bit, both of them off in their own heads, when suddenly the door opened and a nurse walked in. She took one look at the three of them, noticed the position the two boys were in and screeched in outrage.  
“What do the two of you think you are doing?! This is a hospital! Get your feet off that bed!”  
While Peter quickly took down his feet, rubbing his neck in embarrassment, Harley simply rolled his eyes, muttering something about harpies. That in turn, made the nurse’s voice reach another level while she yelled at them.  
In the commotion nobody noticed the brown eyes of one Tony Stark as they blinked open and took in the chaos that was taking place around him.  
He watched Harley, as he moved his chair next to Peter’s, ignoring the nurse completely. He watched as Peter apologized to the nurse, before bumping his shoulder with Harley’s. And as the nurse left in a huff, he watched as the two boys shared a grin and closed his eyes with a smile.


End file.
